At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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