it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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