Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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