hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
