i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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