As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
how drunk are you?
Several
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
