worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
