Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
be right there i have to get my cape
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
