he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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