Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
third nipple confirmed
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
