i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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