you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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