Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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