so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
