your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
