did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
