the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
