lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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