Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
