3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My bed smells like the plague
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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