I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
