dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
