You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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