his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
