About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
