is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
