Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
