It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
