He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
