New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
