yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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