There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
