Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
