Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
