remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
