I got chris browned last night
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
