she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
