And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
