I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
