I think i peed on brittanys purse
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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