Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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