i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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