Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
