I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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