Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
