we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
