sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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