but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
