i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
