i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
