running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
