The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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