id be glad to
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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