The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
